The Grey Spirit

In January, I began a new adventure, I pushed my limits, I forgot my fears and I realized my objectives. My reward was a lesson. Yes, girl of Quebec, 26 years old, and explains you the big lessons of the life.

For as long as I remember, I always was the nervous type. I don’t always show it, it’s rather invert, I hide it well. People feel confidant around me, but they don’t really understand how, at the bottom of me, there is a Grey Spirit., trembling in the face of the task in front of him.

He speaks to me about the fear of the judgment. He tells to me that he knows somebody who failed. He repeats me that he doesn’t believe in himself. Then, I am the one to decide to listen to him or not. Sometimes, I prove to him that he’s wrong, by showing him that I am going to succeed and work stronger. That’s what I did, in January, in spite of the recurring presence of the Grey Spirit.

Now that I have found what I like to do, I hear less often the grey voice. It’s only a small echo in particular situations. Sometimes more disturbing sounds, but still easily disregardable. I don’t know what, recently, urges me to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the Grey Spirit. Maybe while aging and fighting the obstacles of the last years, I acquired a trust in the life and a confidence in myself whom I hadn’t reached before.

Maybe I simply began to speak another language than the Grey Spirit. The stress has no colors. The stress has no shape. The stress has no smell. The stress is what we decide to make it.